Friday, September 26, 2008

'Neophyte' Musician Has Impact

Last year, my friend Andy had the assignment in creative arts to write how a particular performance had an impact on him. He told me a little about it and asked if I would write it instead. So, rather than pay attention to the lecture in composites that day, I wrote the following:
It proved very difficult to walk away from Ruby Jane Smith's recent performance without having been entertained. Her amazing old-time stylings would stun a baby elephant! I particularly enjoyed her moving piece she played entirely on the spoons! I've been eating cereal with them all my life. Who know I was eating with some of the finest musical instruments?! I've decided to quit, ever since I saw Smith in concert. In fact, I'm swapping my spoons and my bowl for an old saxophone. (If you remove the reed, the saxophone neck works as an impressive straw for my Fruity Pebbles).

In my country, we call music with an annoying twang, depressing lyrics, and sung by rednecks, "country-western." I was pleased to find out that it was called the same thing here. Smith's concert not only entertained me, but it inspired me to become a musical prodigy like her. Only, I don't like country-western, so I'm thinking of doing something more European. Maybe Italian. When I think of Italian, though, music doesn't come to mind--it's food and the mafia; both things which fascinate me. Ruby Jane Smith has inspired me to follow my dream of becoming a pastry-chef by day and a hitman by night.

In conclusion, I don't know what 'neophyte' means. Thus we see that country-western music does nothing to improve vocabulary.

Andrew Johnson

For some reason, he didn't turn it in. But in his final draft, he did incorporate elements of my piece. Like the 'stun a baby elephant' bit.


Hosander said...

impressive, your post would stun a baby elephant

Suzy said...

Ha ha! Totally thought it was a madlib at first. Thad you are awesome.

Jancisco said...

Now I have to watch what I say to you, for fear of being "rubbed out". Great.

Clinto Beans said...

Wow... you have inspired me to blog about people blogging about people who have inspired them, and snack on doughnuts while contemplating life!
Thanks Thad!

Kendra said...

It is amazing to me that the workngs of your mind related the playing of spoons to stunning baby elephants! You are truly a random abstract! :)

So what does a stunned baby elephant look like exactly?

Bus Gillespie said...

If you play country music backwards, your life improves, your wife comes back, and your dog doesn't die.
Italian music Opera
country music Opre, as in Grand old

Beetle said...

Did you know that your friend was the 17th president of the U.S. and has been dead since 1875?