Some of the funniest things fall out of Bret's mouth. I'm not convinced it's all on purpose, but it is a riot being his roommate.
Thad (sniffing the sewage-laden air) : "Whew! It stinks! Bret, what did you do?"
Bret: "Rolled in it."
Jenette: "I've always been interested in becoming an FBI agent."
Bret: "Why don't you talk to the guys who are always following me everywhere?"
Bret: "Thad! Would you say your debt is 'manageable', 'unmanageable', or 'juuust right!'?"
Thad: "Bret, I just brushed my teeth!"
Bret: "Good job, Thad! That deserves a cookie!"
(At stake conference, thinking about our upcoming breakfast-for-lunch)
Thad: "I don't know... I'm not very hungry right now."
Bret: "You are going to be hungry. And you're going to want to eat a lot of pancakes. You will be tempted, but you won't be tempted above that which you can bear, because I won't make that many pancakes."
(Letting him look over my math homework to check his work)
Thad: "...but don't just trust that all of my answers are correct. I didn't completely understand everything either."
Bret: "Don't worry. I'm one step ahead of you: I always assume everything you say is false."